Sertraline FREE first couple of weeks

Hi all,

Apologies for my absence of late, I've been a busy bee and also contending with being sertraline free for the first time in 8 years!!

So I just wanted to give you all an update on how I feel now that the sertraline is out of my system. On the most part I feel absolutely fine, I have a few 'brain zaps' and feel dizzy sometimes but they are managable and not too distressing. 

The biggest adjustment for me has been the shift in my emotions, the best way to describe it is that when I was on antidepressants, although I could laugh and cry I felt blunted somehow, almost robotic I guess, the difference now is that when I laugh I REALLY laugh, you know those belly laughs that you just can't stop?? Yes that kind of laugh that is contagious! I've been doing that a lot, and on the flip side I am able to cry much easier, now this isn't a bad thing I promise, I don't mean I'm crying for no reason all sad and depressed 😉 i cry at things that fill me with joy and equally cry at things that make me sad, while in the past (pre-sertraline) I would feel awkward crying in front of others, now I embrace it and just let it out and it feels freeing!!

I will finish on this food for thought, I believe I came off my medication at a time that was right for me, in the past I had tried and failed to wean off and would freak out in major anxiety and panic attacks. Now I'm as calm as a cucumber. It's all about timing so I would just like to reassure anyone that is currently taking antidepressants and has either failed to come off them, or feels like a failure for having to 'rely' on them that a) don't be hard on yourself, you will know when the time comes and I promise with determination and support it is possible to be antidepressant free and feel amazing! Trust your instincts and do what is right for YOU! And b) never ever feel like a failure for having to rely on a drug to level out your emotions, think about it like this, if you saw your closest friend struggling with anxiety and depression would you tell them to suck it up and get over it? Or would you advise them to seek help? You know the last answer is correct and you would help them in any way you could. We all need a  helping hand in this bonkers world and there's nothing to be ashamed of in accepting help.

So on that positive note I will sign off here and wish you all a fantastic rest of the week wherever you may be and whatever you may doing.

All the best

Nic

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Sertraline withdrawal - week two!!

So it's time for an update on my sertraline withdrawal journey!

Week one - Reduced dose from 100mg to 50mg, had three uncomfortable days where I felt on edge, tired and had headaches but nothing I couldn't handle.

I honestly have to say I expected to be going out of my mind but my mind feels the clearest it has in a very long time.

Week two - As of yesterday, because I felt fine with the first reduction I decided to continue with the dosage reduction from 50mg to 25mg, I'm on day two and so far so good. I feel like I'm waiting for disaster to strike but it's not coming, I have spent my whole day laughing at the randomest things, even my family are saying that I seem so happy for no reason and that can only be a good thing right?

So only positives to report so far, I will continue taking 25mg for another five days and then stop completely. Could it be possible that after 8 years I will be Sertraline free? To say I'm gobsmacked would be an understatement!!

I'll be back with an update in a week so keep your peepers pealed folks 😄

All the best

Nic

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Withdrawing from Sertraline (zoloft)

So the time has come where I have made a decision to start weaning off the drug Sertraline which I have been taking now for roughly 7 years at varying doses. I am currently taking 100mg and I'm on day three of reducing to 50mg. So far so good!

For those that don't know, I suffer with either extreme PMS or PMDD as yet undiagnosed.. I'm working on it! And for 2 weeks leading up to my period I suffer with what I can only describe as severe anxiety, mood swings, low mood and just a feeling of an altered reality almost like I'm on autopilot. 

So why come off the Sertraline you ask? Well the honest truth is that my anxiety is getting worse each month, it feels to me that the Sertaline is no longer helping nor easing my anxiety as it once did, and rather than upping the dose even more I've decided along with my doctor to switch to a different medication (Fluoxetine, Prozac) in the hope that the switch will finally give me the 'me' I know and love back. But before I can change medication I have to wean off what I am currently taking which is going to be a tricky time in those two weeks where my anxiety goes through the roof. However, although I have had many failed attempts at coming off this drug in the past I am determined to see this through, and I guess what helps is knowing that I will eventually start a new drug to get the anxiety under control once again.

So what I'm going to do is give you all weekly updates as of today as to my progress and to let you into the journey with me as I do feel that writing down and sharing my thoughts and feelings really does help with just lifting the weight off my shoulders and knowing that maybe by sharing my story I could possibly be helping someone else with their own struggles.

Prepare for rants, lots of colourful language because I like to use the word 'fucking' a lot!! But most importantly prepare for humour because it's the one thing that will guarantee a quicker recovery process and let's face it there are sooo many stories out there about people coming off whatever drug they are taking that are sooooo depressing it's enough to make people want to START taking drugs!! 

I'd love to hear from anyone who is going through or has gone through this kind of journey, as always feedback is what makes me smile 😄

As always all the best

Nic

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Living with PMDD

So the time has come to discuss my experiences with what myself and my Doctor now believe to be PMDD (Pre menstrual dysphoric disorder)

It's something that occurs for me 2 weeks before menstruation begins and the array of symptoms are alarming, in a good month I will feel on edge and out of sorts, in a bad month I'm a raging monster where anxiety is extremely predominant and I don't want to see anyone or do anything socially because my cognitions are impaired.

As I have mentioned in previous posts on my introvert blog, recently I was having cognitive behavioural therapy for what I thought was social anxiety, but what was uncovered during these sessions was eye opening to say the least.

Through my therapist charting my moods each session there was a clear pattern to when anxiety would take hold of me. A cyclical pattern that would take place at a regular time every month like clockwork.

This information has been sent to my Doctor to make her aware of the severity of my symptoms and how they affect me.

I have been taking the anti depressant Sertraline for the past 8 years for general anxiety disorder (which I don't suffer with) and unfortunately that no longer controls the anxiety. Four weeks ago I had the hormonal implant Nexplanon inserted into my arm and the first two weeks were fine with no side effects, however the last two weeks I have been an emotional wreck. It is said that the implant should be given at least six weeks for the hormones to settle and I'm determined to reach that six week mark but I can't tell you how much anxiety has taken a hold of me to the point that I feel like I'm back to square one!

I'd love to hear from anyone who suffers with the same issue and to hear your experiences/treatment stories.

All the best

Nic

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The stigma that surrounds mental illness

Mental illness is rife in today’s society, ranging from mild to severe. It affects 1 in 4 people in the course of a year. A partner, a parent, a child, a sibling, a friend, it can affect anybody.
Chances are that you know somebody, or you indeed suffer yourself with a mental disorder.

So the question is, why is there still a social stigma attached to mental illness?

Throughout personal and professional lives people feel ashamed to speak of their specific mental illness through fear that they will be judged, or that they will be viewed by others as being weak or crazy, and the sad truth is that their fears are not unfounded.

Anxiety, panic, bipolar, schizophrenia (to name but a few), are all disorders of the brain, disorders that are not brought about by the people that suffer with them, it is a change in brain chemistry that affects a person’s behaviour. It doesn’t define the whole of a person or change their fundamental characteristics, it is merely something that they have within them and with the correct treatment, all illnesses can be controlled and monitored. Like heart disease or diabetes, which are physical illnesses that can be treated effectively, so can mental illness.

So why is there a huge divide in the perception of conditions within the physical body and the workings of the mind?

Stigma arises through a lack of understanding and education of a particular subject. You wouldn’t look at someone suffering from heart disease with fear and say “he/she is heart disease” so why would you look at someone suffering from schizophrenia and say “he/she is schizophrenic”?

Whether an illness is physical or mental, it does not define a person, they are not the illness that they live with on a daily basis. Unfortunately the way that mental illness is portrayed in the media and in the social climate we live in today has more of a negative and misunderstood viewpoint of what a sufferer actually goes through.

I am happy to share that I personally suffer with anxiety due to monthly hormonal changes within my brain chemistry. In the beginning seven years ago I also suffered with panic attacks and a mild form of agoraphobia which led to me feeling ill, I couldn’t eat much for a month, lost a lot of weight, quit the job I was in, and withdrew socially. I made my family, friends and current work colleagues aware of this and fortunately in my case everyone was very understanding. They saw beyond my brain chemistry and viewed me as a person, saw my skills and gave me the support I needed.

My hope is that one day soon people will see beyond stigma, the media will portray mental illness in the correct way, and that sufferers of mental illness will feel less ostracized by society as a whole.

 

I will continue to explore more into mental health and I only hope I can give support to those that suffer with mental illness and also help family members and friends of sufferers gain more insight and support into a largely misunderstood mental health crisis.

 

All the best

Nic

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